It's practically guaranteed that it will lead to something else I don't know how to deal with, without my being prepared for it adequately... There's no way you wouldn't exploit the information...
[but somehow that doesn't sound like the heart of the issue. he's starting to seem pretty frustrated with himself]
What I am saying is that to some degree, I still want to appeal to you regardless of whether or not you're trying to manipulate me in that direction! It's an independent drive! But that's exactly why I don't want to look in the mirror! I don't need more motivations like that confusing the path to my true goals...!
—Don't bother telling me it's pathetic, because obviously I'm already capable of recognizing that much!!
...Hm. So you don't like me being disappointed in you... But, you know, not looking in the mirror doesn't mean those motivations don't exist. It just means you're not looking at them. If you blind yourself and go forward, you might arrive at a goal and realize only then that it wasn't really what you wanted at all... That has even happened to me, you know.
...I'll tell you this only because I believe you'll understand the significance when I explain...
I defeated my opponent, completely and utterly. I had the opportunity to flaunt my victory, and humiliate him with it thoroughly, forever... And my victory granted me the power I'd been seeking. You could have considered me like a god, albeit of a very limited domain.
But, despite all that, I was a bit happy when someone came to challenge me... I was even a bit happy when I was defeated.
Hmph... I can see how it might be significant, but I'm not all that surprised, either. Power on its own is just boring... If you had nothing else left to accomplish, of course it wouldn't have any point.
[...how do I pursue preparation for the inevitability of failure when I have to stick strong to my philosophy of the inevitability of 100% success. this is a pitfall]
But for a loser, you've picked yourself up impressively. I didn't think such a thing was possible.
I returned from the depths of oblivion... and went through quite a lot after that as well. Well, when left to my own devices, this much is possible for Furudo Erika. What do you think...?
It's a far leap from accepting that failures can potentially redeem themselves to something like that. But it's... not as if there would be no benefit to it...
[for example, I bet I would be so, sooooooooo rich.]
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Do you think the risk is that high...?
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It's practically guaranteed that it will lead to something else I don't know how to deal with, without my being prepared for it adequately... There's no way you wouldn't exploit the information...
[but somehow that doesn't sound like the heart of the issue. he's starting to seem pretty frustrated with himself]
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[great. that is a great way to stall for time]
I'm only even considering looking because of you. Do you think I like being manipulated by your opinion?
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What I am saying is that to some degree, I still want to appeal to you regardless of whether or not you're trying to manipulate me in that direction! It's an independent drive! But that's exactly why I don't want to look in the mirror! I don't need more motivations like that confusing the path to my true goals...!
—Don't bother telling me it's pathetic, because obviously I'm already capable of recognizing that much!!
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Has it, really?
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I defeated my opponent, completely and utterly. I had the opportunity to flaunt my victory, and humiliate him with it thoroughly, forever... And my victory granted me the power I'd been seeking. You could have considered me like a god, albeit of a very limited domain.
But, despite all that, I was a bit happy when someone came to challenge me... I was even a bit happy when I was defeated.
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Hmph... I can see how it might be significant, but I'm not all that surprised, either. Power on its own is just boring... If you had nothing else left to accomplish, of course it wouldn't have any point.
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...I must admit your perspective is unique to me. Of course, I don't personally have such experience with failure...
[is this a compliment or an insult. or both]
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[the fact that she manages to say that with a straight face as if she has any high ground is a testament to her superior detective acting skills]
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[...how do I pursue preparation for the inevitability of failure when I have to stick strong to my philosophy of the inevitability of 100% success. this is a pitfall]
But for a loser, you've picked yourself up impressively. I didn't think such a thing was possible.
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It's a far leap from accepting that failures can potentially redeem themselves to something like that. But it's... not as if there would be no benefit to it...
[for example, I bet I would be so, sooooooooo rich.]
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[but yeah]
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he doesn't say anything, but he does start slowly turning back in that direction, his body language a lot less confident than it usually ever is]
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